Why does this stuff happen to me on business flights?
On my flight to Austin this afternoon, a young couple came on the plane with their two kids. They sat adjacent to me on my isle. One was a grade school age girl, and her slightly younger brother. The boy was not in the mood for a plane ride. He was given his mother a lot of grief, yelling, screaming, and making all of the passengers’ flying experience top notch.
On my flight to Austin this afternoon, a young couple came on the plane with their two kids. They sat adjacent to me on my isle. One was a grade school age girl, and her slightly younger brother. The boy was not in the mood for a plane ride. He was given his mother a lot of grief, yelling, screaming, and making all of the passengers’ flying experience top notch.
Having raised 4 kids, and now 2 grandchildren, I figured I can handle a 35 minute flight from Dallas to Austin with a youngster’s temper tantrums. So, I settled in my seat, closed my eyes and tried to drown out the ear splitting yelps from seat 8b.
Then as quickly as it started, it stopped, cold. Quiet. Dead silence (almost). I was thrilled, relieved, and curious as to what served as the closure to the racket.
I looked next to me and saw this boy, sitting on his mother’s lap, breast feeding. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all for babies breast feeding; or male adults snuggling between a pair. But not a kid, who’s almost ready to shave. I swear this kid had a Wall Street Journal under his arm when he walked on to the plane. And I think I heard him ask the flight attendant if she had any Light Beer. And to make matter's worse, momma didn't look like Elin Nordegren, or Pamela Anderson. No, she look more like Rosanne Barr.
So I have listed some reference points as to when a woman might want to consider stopping breast feeding little Johnny:
1) If your kid asks you how his 529b college fund is coming along, you should probably ween him
2) If his braces start to hurt you, it might be a good time to offer him a bottle
3) When you pull your out your boob and his eyes get large, and his diaper gets larger, you might want to bag that boobie
4) If he asks you to get an implant because he likes them a little larger, he’s done
5) If he lights up a cigarette after your breast feeding, cut him off
6) And finally, if he asks if he and his friend can tag-team, enough is enough
UA-15499293-1
OMG! I'm lost for words! Can't think of anything funny at all regarding that little scenario. Urrgh!
ReplyDeleteWow...just wow. Did you hand Mom some cash on the way out as seed money for the kid's therapy account? He's going to need it!
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