(This) Man's Best Friend

(This) Man's Best Friend
The Mighty Titan 2003-2011

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A day to remember


As many of us enjoy this Memorial Day with family, friends, cookouts, and good times, let's not forget what this day is really about. It is a day of remembrance. A day of honoring those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. Many families are missing their loved ones who provided this very freedom we are currently enjoying.

It is also a day to pay tribute to our surviving veterans, and our military members currently enlisted. Most of them would rather be home with their loved ones too. But they have chosen to protect our way of life by serving their country right now.

So, dig into that hamburger. Chomp on that corn on the cob. Pop open another beer. But take a moment to remember those Americans who are no longer with us, those who carry the scars of war, and those serving abroad.

I know this military family remembers.

Semper Fi, son.
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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Ground me; and I don't mean Starbucks


As Yoda would say, "back on the subject of business travel, I am."

Between cancelled flights, cattle-car seating, no snacks (under $8), moody flight attendants, boob-feeding mommas, and just plain idiotic travelers, I've about thrown in the proverbial flying towel. Since I've been into distance running lately, maybe I could just start running to my customer meetings. I could see me trotting into some company headquarters, sweating like a sheik in his new harem, and wringing all these geeky hands. Nah. Maybe not a good idea. They might enjoy it.

But basically flying has gotten old. Not just my 35 years of business travel, but the airlines and planes themselves.

So I've come up with a list as to when you know your airline flight is old.

When:

- You see written on the plane an autograph by "Orville & Wilbur Wright"

- In your magazine rack you read a Life Magazine with an advertisement to buy American War Bonds

- The wood floor boards are starting to rot

- Your American Airlines plane has etchings on the walls of Pilgrims........and American Indians

- You find a hand written receipt near the cockpit door for jet fuel costing 12 cents per gallon

- There is no alcohol on the flight..........due to Prohibition.

- The pilot boards the plane wearing a leather helmet and goggles

- Your inflight snack is a Cracker Jack box, with an original Babe Ruth baseball card inside


And finally; you know your flight is old when;

- The flight attendant is young..........feminine..........and a female.
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Out of the blue.......and pinstripes


Today I received one of the best, surprise gifts I have ever received. My close friend handed me a framed autographed photo of Yogi Berra in action. It is a certified and verified authentic piece of history. Now as many of you know, I am a born and raised New York Yankees fan, from day one. As a kid, my favorite numbers were 7, 8, and 9. They were Mantle, Berra, and Maris. These guys were my idols, especially Mickey Mantle. Arguably though, the backbone of those era Yankees had been Yogi Berra.

But what really got me excited about this autographed photo was who Berra was tagging out at home plate. It was Jackie Robinson. For those who don't know who he was, Jackie was the first African-American baseball player to play in major league baseball, with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947. He holds great meaning to me as he was THE first baseball player I ever met. I believe it was at Coney Island in 1955, where my father introduced me to this big, tall, black, uniformed ball player, whose hand totally engulfed mine as he smiled brightly at me and said hello. He made a tremendous impression on me, that I will never forget.

Now you have to understand how hard this must have been for my friend to purchase this item. The last team, and I mean the LAST team he would want anything to do with is the New York Yankees. He bleeds red, not blue. Now Ted Williams, that would be a different story. He probably would pull the shirt over someone like a hockey jersey and beat the crap out of them, just to purchase a significant Williams piece. But Yogi Berra? I could almost feel the bile rising in his throat as he bid on the picture. I wonder if he wrapped it in a large brown paper bag, drove his car around the back of the building, so no one would see him with a Yankee's photo. I wouldn't doubt it.

So what does this tell you?

Two of the most important sports figures I grew up admiring, on an autographed photo, he gave to me for no reason.

True friendship? I'd say so.

That's why where ever he goes, whatever he needs, he can rely on me to be there. For him, and his family.

Thanks buddy.

PS. "Baseball is ninety percent mental, and the other half physical."

PPS. Hi Mom.
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Monday, May 10, 2010

When enough, is enough


Why does this stuff happen to me on business flights?

On my flight to Austin this afternoon, a young couple came on the plane with their two kids. They sat adjacent to me on my isle. One was a grade school age girl, and her slightly younger brother. The boy was not in the mood for a plane ride. He was given his mother a lot of grief, yelling, screaming, and making all of the passengers’ flying experience top notch.

Having raised 4 kids, and now 2 grandchildren, I figured I can handle a 35 minute flight from Dallas to Austin with a youngster’s temper tantrums. So, I settled in my seat, closed my eyes and tried to drown out the ear splitting yelps from seat 8b.


Then as quickly as it started, it stopped, cold. Quiet. Dead silence (almost). I was thrilled, relieved, and curious as to what served as the closure to the racket.


I looked next to me and saw this boy, sitting on his mother’s lap, breast feeding. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all for babies breast feeding; or male adults snuggling between a pair. But not a kid, who’s almost ready to shave. I swear this kid had a Wall Street Journal under his arm when he walked on to the plane. And I think I heard him ask the flight attendant if she had any Light Beer. And to make matter's worse, momma didn't look like Elin Nordegren, or Pamela Anderson. No, she look more like Rosanne Barr.


So I have listed some reference points as to when a woman might want to consider stopping breast feeding little Johnny:

1) If your kid asks you how his 529b college fund is coming along, you should probably ween him


2) If his braces start to hurt you, it might be a good time to offer him a bottle


3) When you pull your out your boob and his eyes get large, and his diaper gets larger, you might want to bag that boobie


4) If he asks you to get an implant because he likes them a little larger, he’s done


5) If he lights up a cigarette after your breast feeding, cut him off


6) And finally, if he asks if he and his friend can tag-team, enough is enough
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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Bouquet for today


Titan wishes all the mother's out there a "Happy Mother's Day."

For those mother's whose sons or daughters are serving in the military, this family knows the commitments and sacrifices they, and their mother's, make for our country. May our loved ones come home soon, and safe.

Titan wants to point out a special "Mother's Day" to his momma at home.

Now feed me............please?
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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives



10. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

8. A dog's parents never visit.

7. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

5. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

4. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

3. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

2. If your dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

And the number one reason to have a dog instead of a wife:

1. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

It's in his genes


Speaking of family, our horse, Shaft, is the great-grandson of Secretariat. You know, the famed race horse who won the Triple Crown in 1973. There have only been 2 other race horses since Secretariat to win the coveted Triple Crown; Seattle Slew in 1977, and Affirmed in 1978. But there's a great difference between great grandson and grandpa.

Shaft is a thoroughbred, quarter horse mix. He is not quite as tall as his fabled great grandfather. Nor does he have the speed, or desire to run like Secretariat. But he does have that thoroughbred attitude. In other words, he's a snot.

We have owned Shaft for 9 years. He is 13 yrs old. He still acts like a 2 year old brat. Now don't get me wrong, I love my horse, but he can be a pain in the ass. Literally. When putting a saddle on him, he turns slightly your way and tries to nip your butt. Not hard. Just enough to let you know he's not interested in riding today. Or any day for that matter. If you don't ride him often enough, he'll buck and kick for a few yards, until he realizes you're still on him, and he's obligated to cart you around for an hour or so.

Shaft does have a personality. Almost everyone who meets him, falls in love with him. He's funny, mischievous, friendly, loving, and damn smart.

And although he has the blood in his veins, he doesn't have the kick in his hooves. Which is just fine. I don't have the strength in my back.

So much for genetics.
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Friday, April 23, 2010

La Famiglia


Separated at birth?
In witness protection?

These two Bordeaux's are not Titan. Maybe they are Titan's long lost brothers. Could be. Behavior is about the same.

Titan was one of about 9 puppies, and the cutest. He seemed the most friendly of the clan, and came right to me. Probably the reason he came home with us.

I would say Titan is more of a Asics dog than Adidas anyway.
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dying for your vote


In other unrelated news, a dead man was elected mayor of a Tennessee town. Why am I not surprised?

It seems this gentlemen, Carl Geary, had died a few weeks before the election, but beat out the current mayor for the position.

Some folks voted for him, (even though they knew he was dead), because they wanted someone other than the current mayor.

For some reason, this almost makes sense to me. Almost.

I guess you could say Mr Geary came in dead first.....
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Monday, April 19, 2010

Titan loves the broom


Great weekend for New York; not so good for Texas, and a pretty good start to this week.

The Yankees had a clean 3 game sweep of the Texas Rangers, at Yankee Stadium this past weekend. And today, Boston loses to Tampa Barf, I mean Tampa Bay. So the Bronx Bombers are 1/2 game out of first place in the East from Tampa Bay.
They are headed to the west coast for a series with Oakland, and then Los Angeles. The Angels seem to give the boys grief, although Oakland is playing better (for now).

But I do have one question.

What's going on with the Red Sox?

Ah, never mind. I don't care.....
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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Runner's high, runner's low


Almost everyone has heard of, or has experienced, a runner's high. But if you are an avid runner, you will eventually get to experience the low too.

Most lows come disguised as injuries. They can be slow growing chronic maladies, such as shin splints, plantar fasciitis, or bursitis. Immediate ones, can be twisted ankles, pulled hamstrings, or burning lungs.

In my case, herniated discs in the lower back. To be honest, it's over a 20 year old injury. So I'd say it's been slow and steady.

As I had been building my mileage up (to 16 miles in a single run), preparing myself for half marathons (accomplished), and eventually a full marathon, a simple move or twist, jacks my back up. So much so, injections were needed, twice already. Every time I hit the pavement for a longer run, after a couple of weeks return, the back has talked back. Actually, it screamed at me.

To make matters worse, I am signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon this fall. But it's not looking real good.........at all.

This is my runner's low. Mentally, and physically.

I plan on healing up, again, and pounding the pavement in the next month or so. But I may be relegated to lower mileage runs and races. This is something I just may have to accept.

But I say congratulations to all of those who accomplished the ultimate; the qualification for the Boston Marathon. Have a wonderful race this Monday, Patriot's Day, in Boston.

Now that is a runner's high.
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Friday, April 16, 2010

Why have a dog?

There are many reasons to own a dog. Protection. Companionship. Love of animals. Interesting photography.

But besides the ridiculous pictures you get to take (like above), you can opt for this....

I guess we need to get more furniture.
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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Gnome More


Everywhere I look in our yard are these little, ugly, plaster old men. They give me the creeps. Even Titan doesn't like them invading his domain, so he pees on them. But they're still here.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think they could multiply on their own. Now that would really freak me out. Little old men having gay, plaster sex in my yard. Where's that armed Sarah Palin when I need her?

Oh well, I'll just hope Titan's constant wetting of these demonic statues will eventually make them melt. I just want to hear one of them scream out:

"I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! Who would have thought a big ass Mastiff like you could destroy our wickedness?"
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Taking a bite out of crime-fighters


This crazy ass dog in Tennessee (dah), decided he was REALLY hungry, or was breaking his parole, and bit the hell out of this Chattanoogo police car.

So the local judge said that "Winston" was a very bad doggie, and must go to obedience and canine good citizen classes.

Really??

Oh, and it gets better. He has to wear a tag that says he might be dangerous.

No shit.


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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Training, a Shih Tzu


Titan doesn't care much for little dogs, especially ones that are plain stupid. Like the one in Utah that got run over by a train........... twice in the same day.

I think this damn dog was on a suicide mission, and failed....miserably. He jumped in front of a train, with no luck. Then, as the same train conductor was later returning, hits the same dog, again, and the dog still lives.

Seems the train driver went back after work, found the dazed dog, and is nursing him back to health. Physical health anyway. The dog may need mental healthcare, in my opinion.

Besides being a dumb dog, he is one lucky dog.

All I know is I'd be taking "Shit-Sue" to Vegas with me....
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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Intelligence not required


Staying on the subject of addictions and dependencies, a Vermont man driving himself to prison, to serve his sentence for a DUI, was arrested for driving drunk...........to the damn prison.

Yes, you read that right. He was driving himself to the prison where he was to serve his time for his previous DUI.

At least he could have gotten a designated driver to haul his drunk ass to prison. Geez.

I wonder if this year's Census will show how many stupid people we have living in the U.S.?

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Friday, April 9, 2010

Intervention


Addictions, dependencies, habits, whatever.

It seems everyone has dependencies on something these days.

Whether it be professional hookers, crack cocaine, tattooed biker chicks, or bumpy balls, there's a multitude of dependencies out there. Although, one would argue that bumpy balls requires a doctor....

But there is professional help available. Some want it, some don't.

I think Titan is over due for his detox stay, somewhere.

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Thursday, April 8, 2010

How come this doesn't happen on my American flights?

Photo Source: Reuters

It seems a Spanish airline, Air Comet, has not paid their lovely flight attendants for almost 9 months of work. So, the young ladies are posing nude to get attention to their situation.
I would say they are getting LOTS of attention, considering some of them are now models.
I have had lots of things happen to me on airplane flights over the last 30 years, but nothing like this. Talk about flying the friendly skies.
BTW, the "quality" of flight attendants on American has been dropping faster than Obama's healthcare plan approval ratings.
Question for you: Would you pay for your carry on bags, if you could have one of these lovely ladies serving you in the buff on your next flight?

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Another problem caused by deforestation



This shot just cracked me up. Not sure who or how they took it, so I'm giving them credit here.

Say what you want about protecting the environment, but dogs have their reasons for it too.

Titan also likes trees. He thinks his bumpy balls grow on them.


PS. Thanks for the forwarded photo, Ray.

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Monday, April 5, 2010

I don't need no stinkin' iPad


Who needs an iPad anyway?

Not Titan. He'll stick with the MacBook Pro. All his great photos are on it.

(At least for now).


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Sunday, April 4, 2010

I'll just play with my balls


As the kids had colored fancy eggs for Easter, Titan decided he would rather play with his fancy colored balls.

To him it's the same difference. Colorful, creative, and........tasty.

Happy Easter everyone!

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Friday, April 2, 2010

Insult to injury


A father buries his Marine son, killed in Iraq, only to have some wacko religious group from Kansas protest at his funeral. The father sues and wins, and on appeal, it is reversed. Now the court wants the grieving father to pay these nut jobs, as they hide behind their "constitutional rights".

Is this what our forefathers had in mind for the 1st Amendment?

This group has the right to voice their opinions, because of Marines like Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder. But they don't have the right to mock, and invade the privacy of this family's funeral service for their son.

All I know is, they better be careful of other military families they protest who may exercise their rights with the 2nd Amendment.

And I am one of them.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fast track to recovery


It looks like some states have found a way to a “speedy” economic recovery.

The recession has hit almost everyone, so now states are going to recoup lost revenues by taking away that little 5-10 mph cushion we all have had when driving over the speed limit.

Officer: “Do you realize how fast you were going?”

Driver: “Ah, yes Officer. I was doing 35mph.”

Officer: “I should cuff you and throw your ass in jail right now. You were going 3 miles over the speed limit buddy.”

Driver: “But officer, I’m driving a Toyota.”

Officer: “Good answer, but here’s your damn ticket anyway. The governor needs the money.”

Written warnings may be a thing of the past. If you have one, frame it. It might become a collectable in a few years.

“It could happen.”

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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Counter Productive?


Between door-to-door solicitors of lawn maintenance, house cleaning, marketing BS, dog sitting, and God knows what else, we now have the potential of Census taking knockers. Just what we need.

I think I'll have Titan open the door for them.

"Welcome number crunchers. Do you REALLY want to come in?"

Probably not. So don't count on me.


PS. I did fill the form out, and said I had 15 members of a Tijuana mariachi band living with me.
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Monday, March 29, 2010

$8.5 Trillion Deficit by 2011?

It could happen, the way the government is going.

I say we turn the Congressional Budget over to Titan.

He can balance anything.

Just a thought…

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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Why is "28" better than "61"?


"61" was a wonderful movie about the 1961 New York Yankees and the internal team competition, and friendship, between the M&M boys, Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle. Maris went on to overtake the home run title held by Babe Ruth since 1927, with 61 of his own. The Yankees then won their 19th World Series Championship over the Cincinnati Reds.

So what is the significance of "28"?

• Well for one, it is the number of chapters of the Gospel of Matthew
• A Catholic Priest does 28 signs of the cross during Mass.
• 28 is the atomic number of nickel.
• It is also approximately the number of grams in an ounce.

But to me, and many others this baseball season, it is the goal of the Yankee empire. That is 28 World Series Championships.

So, as Titan and I gear up for baseball season, I hope all of you enjoy the Spring, have a wonderful Summer, and I know, Yankee's fans will have a long, enjoyable Fall season.

Boston.............. bite me.
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Saturday, March 27, 2010

72,000 hits


This photo of Titan, by my son Jim, has had well over 72,000 internet views world-wide. And this is what started the Titan craze. His link is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/themightyjimbo/

I have had offers from European Sports teams to use his image. I had a Japanese television station want to come to my house and video Titan for a special they were doing on dogs. National Geographic's Dog Town contacted me and wanted some video and a write up on Titan for their show. A Canadian artist, created a one and only water color of Titan, which was auctioned off for a charity.

With all of this notoriety, Titan has maintained his composure, and is still a down-to-earth Mastiff. The hell with the bright lights of Broadway, or wherever fame would take him.

To be honest, I just didn't want to deal with the crap that comes along with it. I have to work for a living. For a little while longer anyway.

We just have fun around here with Titan. No lights, cameras, action for us. Oops, wrong on that. LOTS of lights, cameras, and plenty of action, as you can see.

But moving on, spring time is here. And I just love the smell of Yankee's baseball in the spring. It smells like........Victory.

Later folks.......
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Friday, March 26, 2010

Conception


Creation. Beginnings. A new birth.

Welcome to the first posting of Titan's Tale. Long over due.

I have been contemplating Titan having his own blog for some time. Many people have asked for it, and wondered why I didn't create this sooner. Others, well, didn't give a crap. Personally, I didn't think I would have the time, or the inclination, or even the writing ability. I still may not, but we shall see.

If only I could get Titan to write this stuff. Although, he will provide lots of input.

My thought is to regularly post the daily happenings around Titan's domain. It can be quite entertaining around here, and it's usually centered around this big, orange beastie. Oh, and one of his many, multi-colored bumpy balls.

Family, politics, running, the military, are all on the agenda. Nothing's sacred.

Just don't blame the editor.......